turn a deaf ear

The Catholic Church leadership and other "pro-life" groups are up in arms over President Benigno Aquino III's stand on reproductive health - he said that it was up to couples what kind of birth control method they wanted to use - and have threatened to hold rallies and other protest actions unless Aquino changes his mind about the issue. They have even gone so far as to threaten civil disobedience should the recently refiled Reproductive Health (RH) bill become law.

Time and time again, these groups have blocked the implementation of a proper population management policy in the country despite public support for such a policy. Just last year the Reproductive Health bill barely made it to the House floor. It was ultimately shelved mainly due to pressure from the Catholic Church, which considered it the "legalization of abortion" and thus damaging to the country's morality, and a lack of support from then-President Gloria Macapagal Arroyo.

President Aquino is the first president in a very long time to actually be in favor of responsible and informed choice when it comes to family planning. His support could do much to finally get the RH bill out of Congress and into Malacanang to be signed into law. That is, if he isn't swayed by the bishops into changing his opinion on the matter. It would be hard for the Church to do so, given the support the President is getting for his stand from both the House of Representatives and the Senate. However, history shows that the Church is adamant about having its way when it comes to the population issue, and will stop at nothing to derail any effort by the government to do anything that goes against the Church's views on population and family planning.

The Catholic Church maintains that the only morally acceptable way of planning a family is to use natural family planning methods or to abstain from sex altogether. The Church also downplays the effect of a large and rapidly growing population on poverty, instead putting the blame on corruption and ineffective government action. For the Church, 100 million Filipinos sharing an archipelago of 7,100 islands is not a problem but a blessing; that those 100 million are being packed tighter and forced to compete for scarce resources while more and more people come in is is something the good bishops gloss over and lay at the feet of the State.

That many Filipinos see the need for and want a reproductive health policy to manage the country's growing population is another thing the Church turns a deaf ear to. In the past, survey after survey showed popular support for the RH bill and its forerunners, and still the Church stuck to its line and pressured legislators to block passage of the bill. How the Church can be against providing proper reproductive health education, the promotion of free and responsible choice, and government-provided reproductive health services - three things which could curb the rising incidence of abortions and dumped fetuses in the country - is a dark area which this writer would rather not speculate on at this time.

President Aquino has expressed his willingness to talk to the Church and explain his side, but in this writer's opinion that would only be a futile exercise. The Church will only listen to and agree with those who will follow its teachings on the population issue. It is obvious that there can be no compromise when Church leaders call contraception a sin and vow to support any action against the passage of any measure that includes artificial family planning methods. There can be no debate or discussion with these people. Any dialogue will be fruitless and pointless.

What can President Aquino accomplish by talking with the leaders of the Catholic Church? Nothing. Absolutely nothing. They did not listen before, and they will not listen now. They turned a deaf ear to the very people they claimed to protect from immorality and the fires of hell, in the process relegating many of them to a life of hell on Earth.

This writer hopes that President Aquino returns the favor on behalf of his constituents - the Filipino people who gave him his mandate in the last election - and turns a deaf ear to the cries of those who would rather see the country remain stuck in the Dark Ages and mired in poverty than have it move one more step forward into the 21st century.

manila's newest tourist attraction

"SICKENING". This was how an article at the UK Daily Mail's website described a picture of Filipino students posing for a photograph in front of the tourist bus that was the scene of Monday's hostage crisis.

It is barely two days after the end of the shootout that claimed the lives of 8 Hong Kong tourists and former police officer-turned hostage-taker Rolando Mendoza but various pictures of people having their photographs taken at the site of the incident have started to appear on the Internet.

Apparently, despite appeals for sensitivity and respect from the Philippine National Police and Malacanang, some Filipinos are treating the crime scene as a sort of tourist attraction.

At a Facebook page titled "Hongkong, Our apology for what happened", pictures showing students - and even police officers - posing and even smiling in front of the bus where nine people lost their lives have gathered a lot of negative reactions.

It is indeed sickening to see fellow Filipinos treating the site where nine people were killed only 48 hours ago as a place for a photo op and posing and smiling as if nothing bad had ever happened there.

These actions show appalling insensitivity and bad taste on the part of some of our countrymen and, as relations between our country and the People's Republic of China are being strained by this incident, only serve to paint our country in an even worse light. Some of the pictures have already appeared in a Chinese newspaper.

I hope that we all realize that this hostage crisis has already hurt our country too much. Let us not do anything that would only exacerbate the situation even more.

hostages

I'm no expert. I don't know anything about police work or SWAT training. About the only time I've fired a real gun was in PE class. Whatever I know about tactical assaults or rescue missions I got from movies or computer games or books. So there. That's out of the way.

But I could not help myself from screaming at the television set as the Philippine National Police began their assault on the hijacked tourist bus at the Quirino Grandstand just a few hours ago.

Note that much of this is pure speculation on my part, albeit based on the live airing of the actual assault on local news media.

It was frustrating to see SWAT teams charging towards the bus just a scant few minutes after the bus driver was freed by the hostage-taker. It seemed to be a spur of the moment decision by the commander on the scene. No visible effort was made to verify the driver's claims that the hostages were dead, and when the police got to the bus they did not even try to check where the hostage-taker was.

Common sense alone is enough to tell you to look before you leap. In this case, the police blindly leapt into the assault, wildly smashing the bus' windows and doors with a sledgehammer.

Let me emphasize that. A sledgehammer.

There was a man confirmed to be armed with an M-16 rifle inside the bus and the police were attempting to gain entry into the bus with a sledgehammer. No attempt was made to at least surprise the gunman, even to at least stun him before the police made their move.

I'm just guessing here but shouldn't any half-decent assault have the assault team coming in through multiple entry points broken open by explosive charges and covered by smoke or stun grenades? With the aim of capturing or incapacitating the hostile target and getting any hostages out alive, of course. And it should all be over in just a few minutes.

This assault lasted well over a few minutes. Surprise and speed could have ended the hostage crisis less tragically, but the police threw them both away.

We were all treated to over thirty minutes of live video showing the sad and pathetic attempts of the police forces to gain entry into the bus. They used sledgehammers to smash the windows and the windshield and the door to no effect. They tried to smash through the back window. They tried to pull the door open with rope tied to a police vehicle. And it snapped.

The rope, not the door.

Shots were fired from inside the bus at different times during the assault, hitting one bystander. Police snipers appeared to be the only ones doing their job properly, as the gun man visibly avoided the windows after a few shots were heard from off-camera.

One patently pitiful scene showed police throwing flashbang grenades into the bus in an attempt to stun the hostage-taker. It was a good move, if only they had gotten the door or another entry point open first and used the precious few moments when the gunman would be incapacitated to get him and the remaining hostages out alive.

In the end, the police resorted to using tear gas. Yellow smoke filled the back of the bus and soon after the hostage-taker was forced to move to the front, where snipers took him out. As of this writing, the hostage-taker, Rolando Mendoza, himself a former police officer, and at least four hostages are confirmed dead.

It all could have ended worse, yes, but it sure as hell could have ended better.

SWAT means Special Weapons And Tactics. If the Philippine SWAT teams have sledgehammers as weapons and if this recent event shows the extent of their tactics then we have a very serious problem on our hands.

This has happened before. In 2007, 26 children were taken hostage inside a bus in front of the Manila City Hall. That hostage crisis ended peacefully, with no need for the police to stage an assault to free the hostages. What if something like this happens again? How many people need to die before we learn our lessons?

The government should take a long and hard look at the state of our country's security forces. I have been brutally critical of the police assault that ended the hostage crisis a few hours ago but I want to point out that I am criticizing the weapons and the tactics used by the police, and not their bravery or their dedication to their jobs.

It was painfully clear on the TV screen earlier today that even with a depressingly inadequate inventory and a seemingly poorly planned and executed assault attempt the police still braved the rain pouring down from the sky and the bullets flying out of the bus.

We have no shortage of dedicated police men and women, or of soldiers, sailors, and pilots. What we have is a shortage of equipment and training. What we have is a shortage of funding and support for the men and women we all eventually blame for the use of unnecessary force or human rights violations or for letting hostage crises spiral out of control.

This tragic event is another challenge for the new Aquino administration. The problem has been laid out for everyone to see. I was switching between GMA7, CNN, BBC, and Al Jazeera as the hostage crisis dragged on and I saw the same thing on all channels: a police force in dire need of proper support and training.

Well, at least much of the same thing.

I was able to see every single move of the police during the final assault on the bus. I knew when snipers fired and when police vehicles moved. I learned about where and when the police moved another SWAT team into position. GMA7 reporters detailed every move the police made, and their cameras covered every angle. CNN showed live feed from ABS-CBN. The BBC had its own camera on the scene, as did Al Jazeera.

Now that's not a really bad thing. Every Filipino and, with CNN, BBC, and Al Jazeera broadcasting live from Manila, every soul on the planet could watch as the police moved in and killed Rolando Mendoza. Information on demand, live and in color.

Every soul on the planet, including the hostage-taker watching on the television set inside the bus, could see every move the police made.

Oops.

CNN, BBC, and Al Jazeera are not available without a cable connection. But GMA7 and other local channels could be seen on the bus' TV. And they were all reporting live from all around the bus.

Maybe our local media practitioners should read Guidelines for Covering Hostage-Taking Crises, Prison Uprisings, Terrorist Actions from Poynter Online. It states first and foremost that

In covering a developing raid or law enforcement action, journalists are advised to:

Be extremely cautious to not compromise the secrecy of officials' planning and execution.

Everything was laid out for everyone to see in this latest crisis. This brings back memories of the Oakwood Mutiny, or of the more recent Manila Peninsula crisis, where the local news media reported every move of government security forces and, in the case of the Manila Peninsula crisis, blatantly ignored government orders for their reporters to evacuate the hotel prior to an armed assault.

The freedom of the press is a constitutionally guaranteed right in this country. But it is not, and cannot be used as, an excuse for putting the lives of innocent civilians - in this case, the remaining hostages - or of the soldiers or police at grave risk. Making live broadcasts of troop movements or SWAT team deployments puts the lives of those men and women at risk. Showing that an assault is imminent puts the hostages' lives at risk.

I said earlier that much of the same thing was on all the channels. Indeed, all showed live video from the Quirino Grandstand. Except for the BBC, that is, which had a small note below its video feed stating that "images are delayed for 10 seconds due to threats to kill".

That's a good thing. It denied the hostage-taker, if ever he had access to the BBC video, real-time knowledge of police movements. And the BBC and Al Jazeera cameras were all focused on the front of the bus - a far cry from GMA7's three video feeds showing every side of the bus.

What gave us all the excuse to criticize every move the police made also gave Rolando Mendoza a real-time view of what was happening outside his bus. And that gave him a marked advantage over the police SWAT teams.

He could have watched their every move while they could only guess at his whereabouts and disposition inside the bus.

We could all speculate on whether or not the media actually caused the crisis to spiral out of control or if it actually had a hand in the bloody shootout that ended it - I do not know for sure if Rolando Mendoza actually watched the live news reports inside the bus - but one fact remains: the news media's handling of this and other crises in the past put lives at risk.

It would have been better if the media refrained from showing the moves of security forces while keeping its viewers informed of developments in the crisis - not blow-by-blow accounts of police actions.

What this latest crisis has taught us is that improvements have to be made by both the police and the media. These improvements in training and support for the police force, and in more responsible reporting in the media, should be implemented as soon as possible.

Next time, the casualties could be even higher.

where do we go from here?

PRESIDENT Benigno Simeon C. Aquino III. I still have a very hard time saying that, and I can't even begin to think of referring to him as "PNoy" like just about everyone else. For me, the election was a disaster - I did not want another Aquino in Malacanang.

And the recent State of the Nation Address (SONA) did little to change my mind.

I admit, I was impressed by the speech. The delivery was excellent; it was forceful, direct to the point, and there were no paper boats or Powerpoint presentations, just the cold and hard facts. It was full of figures showing a government on the edge of bankruptcy, and numbers showing anomalies within the past administration.

A lot of problems the Aquino administration inherited from Arroyo were bared for everyone to see. I was shocked to see how the national budget was gutted, to hear about how the Arroyo administration manipulated NAPOCOR and the NFA, and to learn about all the money being wasted at the MWSS.

Aquino did not just stop at revealing the problems and anomalies discovered by his three-week old administration, he also gave some solutions for some of them. I especially liked how he would go into public-private partnerships, like leasing land owned by the Philippine Navy to fund the modernization of the Armed Forces, and the building of a new highway to the north without the national government having to spend a single centavo for it.

He also praised the efforts and accomplishments of the members of his Cabinet, who in just three weeks seem to have done a lot already.

I also think that the establishment of a "Truth Commission" headed by former Chief Justice Hilario Davide is a good thing.

And this is where the praises end.

My first impressions of the speech notwithstanding, I found some big holes in Aquino's SONA.

Aquino stated at the beginning of his speech that the nation was at a crossroads. There were two roads: a crooked one with a government driven by self-interest and political expediency, and a straight one where principle and the interests of the many were given priority. It was a fitting start to a long litany about the problems and anomalies of the Arroyo administration, but...

HOW does the President intend to bring us to the straight path? And when we get there, WHERE will that straight road lead to?

There was a long list of problems, but there was a substantially shorter list of solutions. And piecemeal, short-term solutions at that. How many ships can we hope to buy with the 100 million dollars we will get from the lease of military land? And after that, where will we get the money to maintain them? One new expressway linking the provinces of Luzon is well and good, but it is just one road. Are there no plans to build better transportation infrastructure for the islands, maybe a railway system or more ports, airports, and highways?

How does the President plan to fix the anomalies he bared in his SONA? How does he plan to prevent these from happening again?

Besides verbally slapping down the Communist insurgency (and that was one sweet move by the way), how does he intend to solve the root causes of that problem? How does he plan to end the fighting in Mindanao, aside from bringing everyone involved together to talk?

What policy will his government have towards poverty? Land reform? The economy? Education? Health? Population? Foreign affairs? If America asks us again to join them in a war, will we come?

What is his vision for the country? Where would the Philippines be in a year? Two years? At the end of his term? What should we as a nation have achieved by then?

In closing his speech, Aquino said

"Puwede na muling mangarap. Tayo nang tumungo sa katuparan ng ating mga pinangarap."

We can dream again, he said.

Dream about what?

Granted, this administration is barely a month old. And yes, too much damage has been done to the country by years and years and years of corruption, war, mismanagement, and misplaced priorities.

President Aquino has one hell of a problem on his plate for the next six years. He has already done a good job at identifying the problems the last administration left for him. While he is off to a good start, he should do more to identify the root causes of poverty and corruption - the two major problems stunting the country's growth.

I also believe that this SONA should be the end of all the Arroyo-bashing that appears to have won the election for President Aquino. He has the ball. It's his administration now, not Arroyo's.

He won on a platform of change and, I admit, he's really off to a good start at reforming the government and bringing about change in the country. But there is more to the Presidency than cleaning up the mess of the past administration and going after the people behind all the anomalies and scandals of the previous nine years.

President Benigno Simeon C. Aquino III's State of the Nation Address last Monday did give us a picture of where the Philippines is right now. However, it failed to tell us where our new President plans to take us.

What President Aquino needs to give us is a road map that will lead us to the straight path. He should tell us what to aim for, what to work for in order to get there. He should tell us why we should work to get there, what lies at the end of the straight road.

Mr President, where do we go from here?

mindanao adventure

It's been a few days now since I've returned from Davao, and I only wish that I could have just stayed a little bit longer there. Good food, fresh air, extreme thrills. What a vacation.

Life over in Mindanao is less stressful than it is here in Manila. Traffic is minimal, the air is cleaner and cooler, and it's quieter - a far cry from the chaos here in the highly urbanized metropolis. Our place in Davao City is frequented by many different kinds of birds, and their songs were a welcome replacement for the annoying noises of the big city.

The calmness helped to soothe my stressed mind and purge it of all worries and problems - those still left intact after my flight into Davao. It was my first time to check in at the airport entirely by myself, and I wish that driving a car would be just as simple as getting on an airplane.

Flying in

30,000 feet in the air, and all my troubles seemed to go away. The flight itself was very relaxing and the view from my seat in the back was stunning. We flew over Taal Volcano and Mt. Makiling, but the best thing I saw was the rainbow that followed the plane all the way to Davao airport. I wish I had a camera with me - the plane's shadow on the clouds was surrounded by a circle of vivid reds and blues and every other color in between.

As the plane started to land I was treated to a beautiful view of Mt. Apo, the highest mountain in the Philippines. It looked as majestic as ever in the morning sun, with just a few clouds to break up the outline of its tall peaks. Whatever doubts I had about rushing off to Davao faded away as the plane rolled past PAF attack aircraft on its way to the airport terminal.

Food trip

My dad was there waiting for me. After I got my bag we went to our place at Red Knight Gardens where I had a yummy breakfast of corned beef and eggs. Yes, the food over there was one of the reasons I went on vacation. When I came back to Manila a lot of people took note of my 'expanded' figure. No wonder - one call to the bar below our room and I could have any matter of gourmet food. Word is that I severely depleted their stocks of sirloin steak the last time I was there.

However, the steak at Red Knight paled in comparison to the steak I had the following day. On our way to Cagayan de Oro City - a trip that took more than half a day by car from Davao City - we stopped for lunch at the Del Monte Golf Club at Manolo Fortich, Bukidnon. My dad told me beforehand that the clubhouse here served very good steaks, so in anticipation I ate only a light breakfast early in the day at Seagull Mountain Resort.

And just as well. The sirloin steak I ordered was huge - and it was only a medium order! After we had soup and salad the waiter set before me a thick slab of beef that was almost falling off the plate. The meat was so tender and juicy that it quite literally melted in my mouth, as did the thick slices of soft and buttery bread that came along with it. The gravy added nicely to the taste of the meat. And, to top it all off, we had fresh pineapple juice from one of the biggest pineapple plantations in the country. It was a very scrumptious meal, THE best steak I ever had. In writing this blog I came across many other blogs about this place. Apparently, a lot of people also enjoyed the steak here.

After the long trip across the island of Mindanao, we finally arrived at Cagayan de Oro City. We stayed at the Mallberry Suites Business Hotel, which was conveniently just across the street from Limketkai Center - the largest mall complex in Northern Mindanao according to its website. My dad had business to do in the city, so I spent the next day and a half playing games on my laptop in the hotel and book hunting in the mall - I got five books for less than 400 pesos when I was done.

Further depleting my dad's pockets, I had two more steaks at the hotel - one 'Porco' steak and one more expensive rib-eye steak. While both were half as big as the plates they came in - and those were huge plates - they couldn't hold a candle to the steak at Del Monte. They were still good though. I love steak. Hahaha.

Roaring rapids

The next day we went white water rafting at the Cagayan de Oro River with my dad's office mates. Our half-day trip through 17 kilometers of the river, courtesy of Great White Water Tours, took us through 21 breathtaking rapids and a pristine (well, as pristine as I've ever seen) jungle.

Our trip started with a short safety briefing at a holding area 30 minutes away from the hotel. It was really simple: if you fall out of the raft, just float and the guides will take care of everything. It was another 20 minute trip to the river itself. We went down to the rocky bank below a road bridge wearing life jackets and helmets to our raft. It was all so exciting - and a bit scary; I was afraid that I would fall off the raft and bang my head on the rocks or drown in the rapids.

My fears disappeared after the first two rapids. It was an absolute thrill to ride the fast-flowing - and cold! - white water. The raft plunged this way and that while we rowed furiously through the spray. Our guides were so skilled that no one fell off and our raft did not flip over. Apparently, if even only one person in the group does not want the raft to flip over, the guides won't let it happen.

The river was a sight to behold. Tall trees and even taller white cliffs lined the banks. The water was brown with silt but was surprisingly clean - a far cry from the Marikina and Pasig rivers here at home. Our guides told us that the river could go as deep as 20 or even 30 feet in places - we went over the side and had a dip in one such place - but was only 4 to 5 feet deep or even shallower at the rapids. Where the cliffs would not budge the river cut deep recesses. We went into a few and were treated to the sight of many snakeskins hanging down from the roof among huge spiderwebs and the big spiders that made them. Fast-moving birds swooped in and out of small caves in the cliffs.

One of the rapids was lovingly nicknamed by the guides as "Face the Wall" because if we were not careful our faces would be planted on the solid rock face beyond the churning rapids. Such quips and other entertaining stories from our humorous guides made the already exciting trip a more enjoyable one. Who can forget the 'mad cow' - the owner would get mad if someone took the cow - or the story about the 'green lady' - no more spoilers; take the trip yourself to find out!

Lunch was served back at the holding area. Along with the photographs and the video it made the 1200 peso per person fee all worthwhile. We went back to the hotel right after then started on the long trip back to Davao City. It was past midnight when we got back to Red Knight Gardens.

Taking the plunge

But we weren't tired enough to stay at home the next day. After a lunch of - what else? - sirloin steak, my dad and I went out to try the zipline at Outland Adventure - its 'Xcelerator' is touted as the longest speed zipline in Asia.

Now I'm the type of person who couldn't look over a ledge from the second floor of a building without shaking in fear. I avoid riding roller coasters and other fast and high rides. But after the 17-kilometer thrashing I experienced the day before, the zipline looked like child's play. Sure, I would just be sliding down from a 200-foot high hill on nearly a kilometer of steel cable across a few trees and a small lake. No biggie.

We were among the first people there. Apparently, Outland Adventure only opens at 1 PM on Sundays. When the place finally opened a few minutes after we arrived we were given a short safety briefing and then we were put in harnesses. My dad and I opted to go for only two rides (only 400 pesos per person; it costs 500 pesos to go for unlimited times) as it would be our first time on a zipline and we weren't sure if we could take it.

And we couldn't take it. The climb up the hill, I mean. The ride across the lake on a wooden raft was fun, but the long hike up over 300 steep steps cut into the hill was pure torture. It took us around 20 minutes to get up that hill - rest stops and photo ops included. We got up on the platform at the top of the hill nearly out of our breath. The view from the top was beautiful; the city of Davao sprawled below us, with the Davao Gulf shimmering in the afternoon sun far off in the distance. Across the hill was a tall cliff, with the end of the zipline far below. The little green lake was far below us.

We let the two brothers who came before us go first. My dad and I watched them go off in the 'Superman' style. We had opted to go across in the 'sitting' style first. Cowards. Hahaha. My dad had his camera with him to film the zip across; he went first so he could film me going down the line.

When it was my turn I was already quite nervous. I was afraid that the cable would break, that the harness would fail, that I would plow through the trees, that I would plunge down into the lake, or worse, into the ground, that the brakes on the other side would fail and I would fly off the cable. A million things raced through my mind. I even considered backing out. But my pride soon got the best of me, and I found myself hooked up and ready to take the plunge.

As a person zips down the line, the cable makes a shrill screaming sound, eerily reminiscent of the dive bombers from war movies. Well, I felt like a dive bomber as I kicked off the platform. Even in the sitting position the speed was intense. My harness turned me around so I was facing backwards; even then, the wind whipping past me was so fast that it felt like being in a typhoon. The ground dropped off quickly. Pretty soon I was high up over the lake screaming not with fear but with glee at the adrenaline rush. Barely a minute later I was crashing into the brakes at the end of the line. I stopped at a tall movable staircase. My legs were a bit rubbery after the trip across so I could only get onto the stairs with some difficulty. I was laughing my ass off the whole time, eager for another crack at the zipline.

Round two had us climbing up the hill again. This time we were joined by three ladies who turned out to be old officemates of my uncle. Small world. Once at the platform we waited for our turn. There were a lot more people now, and more were still coming in. We watched as a small girl got on the zipline by herself. Wow.

When it was finally our turn once again, things were different. Our last ride had us sitting on the platform before sliding. Now we tried the 'Superman' position. This time, we would be going off the platform first before lying down on our stomachs. In the air. It's not as easy as it sounds; you have to put your trust in your harness and the guide behind you.

My dad went first again. When my turn came, I was more scared of hanging off the cable than by the actual zip itself. But that part was over quick. Soon I was speeding down the cable, faster than the first time. I was facing forward; I couldn't stretch my arms because of the sheer speed of the ride, and the wind pushed my glasses into my face. The ride was so fast that I crashed into the brakes at the other end hard. I actually missed the stairs and had to be fetched with a rope.

Home stretch

The next day my dad and I went bird watching at Palos Verdes. Birds of all kinds and colors zipped from tree to tree. It was hard to get those birds on camera - they flew off every time I moved. It was so frustrating, given that there was a beautiful pair of yellow and white birds chasing each other through the trees, and I wanted to get a picture of them. We passed by an ostrich farm on our way out. I got out of the car and took some pictures of a male ostrich. Little did I know that as I was happily clicking away the big bird was moving closer to me. When I put the camera down the ostrich was practically in my face, with only a flimsy wooden fence between the two of us. I scampered back to the car with my dad laughing at me.

Nothing much happened in the next two days. My dad had to go to Cebu so I stayed at home with a can of peaches, a tub of ice cream, and some chocolate milk. And anything else I wanted to eat just a phone call away. I must have gained a few pounds during my last two days in Davao.

Going home

I actually felt sad on our way to the airport for the flight home. It was a rainy Thursday. About the only nice thing was that I had my dad's camera with me so I could take pictures from the plan. Too bad we had to sit in the left side of the plane; I missed getting a shot of Mayon Volcano on the way back. I did get some good shots of Cavite and a number of SM malls from the air. Hahaha. The moment I stepped off the plane a blast of hot air hit me. Welcome back to Manila.

Now I'm back to my old routine of sleep, eat, and bum around. It's boring as hell. Add to that the heat and the crappy Internet connection and the stress of job hunting. Life sucks. It's enough to make me wish that I delayed my graduation a little bit more.

But hey, look on the bright side. I got to have a very enjoyable and exciting vacation. In a few months I'll be going to Cebu and Bohol. A few months after that I'll be in Aklan. Right after that it's Cebu and Bohol again. And right after that I'll be back in Davao. Maybe I should try to find work writing for a travel magazine. Hehehe.

only a day away

It's election day tomorrow. I'm actually excited; this will be the first time I vote in the national elections. I'm also a bit apprehensive. Let's hope that nothing goes wrong tomorrow.

I've been trying to write something about the elections for quite some time now, always ending up with drafts going straight to the electronic trash can. I wanted to write something objective, even informative, but it is only now after reading what other people wrote that I realized that this should be about my choice and what I think our country needs.

So, who am I voting for tomorrow?

Choosing a president and a vice president to lead the country for the next six years was very easy. I had decided on who to vote for months ago - it was a simple process of elimination. It was mostly an informed decision - I looked at the platforms and the histories of the people running, and I talked with other people about the different candidates - but it was also a bit biased. Hahaha. Before I say who I will vote for tomorrow, I'll tell you why I did not vote for the others.

Who in their right mind would vote for a man convicted of a crime punishable by death? Joseph Estrada had his chance in Malacanang before. He got booted out by the people and was tried and convicted for plunder. I will not give him a second chance. His vice president, Jejomar Binay, may have done great things for Makati, but a string of corruption cases against him plus his unfaithfulness to his wife cost him my vote.

I cannot find or see or say anything good about Noynoy Aquino, other than he is the son of Ninoy and Cory Aquino. He may have been part of many pending bills and he may have experience - and precious few of that - in legislation, but he has zero experience in the executive branch of government. His and his vice president Mar Roxas' arrogance in saying that if they lose in the coming election it will only be due to poll fraud and their threat of another "People Power" in case of such says much about their bad character as leaders. If I were to make a list I would put these two even below Joseph Estrada.

But not below Manny Villar, The man seems to think that throwing millions of pesos all over the place will win him the election. His involvement in anomalies concerning the C-5 extension project cast doubt on his capability to fight corruption - at least Noynoy Aquino isn't corrupt, its the people who have suddenly gathered around him I'm scared about. Anyway, I find candidates who profess to be one with the poor while they are so obviously wallowing in wealth as very insulting. As the richest candidate for president, Villar is the worst. I'll throw him in a sea of garbage and watch him swim and hopefully drown in it the first chance I get. His running mate, Loren Legarda, is a political butterfly. Enough said.

I do not approve of religion and politics coming together. I never ever considered voting for either JC delos Reyes and Eddie Villanueva and their respective running mates. "Para sa Diyos at Pagbabago"? "Diyos at Bayan"? However, I do agree with Villaneuva on the need for the reimposition of the death penalty.

I never thought of Jamby Madrigal as a serious contender nor a serious candidate for the presidency.Enough said.

The hard choices came with Nicanor Perlas, Gilbert Teodoro, and Richard Gordon. On platform alone, Perlas trumps everyone else. If that were the only consideration he would have easily gotten my vote. However, I have doubts about his capability to push through with his platforms.

Teodoro is actually a good choice for president. When "Ondoy" hit the capital he showed that he was cool under pressure and could handle a crisis effectively. He worked in both the legislative and the executive branch of the government. Many of my friends are in favor of Teodoro because they believe that with him as president the policies and programs of the Arroyo administration - let's face it, many of these actually work - will be continued, as opposed to the other candidates who might scrap the work of the previous administration and start from scratch.

Not a bad point, and I agree with them. However, I feel that Teodoro still needs more experience, and he has all the time to prepare to be the next president after the next six years. For the next six years though, I would rather have Richard Gordon as president. By experience and credentials alone he is the best choice among all the candidates. He was successful in both Olongapo and in the Department of Tourism. He has been in the Red Cross for 25 years. He has been a senator since 2004.

I believe that Gordon has the will and the determination to push through with what he wants to do for the country. This is also shared by his running mate, Bayani Fernando, who is my choice for vice president. His work in the MMDA, while controversial, was effective, as was his work here in Marikina. These two have shown their willingness to go forward with unpopular but important and needed policies which proved to be effective in the end.

Personally, I believe that Gordon and Bayani would give this nation the kick in the ass it needs to get its collective act together and finally move forward.

So there. I'm voting for Richard Gordon and Bayani Fernando tomorrow.

shameful

Can the pleasantries. The actions of the protesters at the BOR meeting last Wednesday in UP Diliman were not the actions of civilized people. (video from QTV here) Nakakahiya talaga.

No less than the UP Diliman University Student Council Chairperson-elect, Rainer Sindayen, was shown on the news screaming at UP Los Banos Chancellor Luis Rey Velasco and blocking his way into Quezon Hall.

While their grievances were legitimate - the loss of student representation in the Board of Regents is a big problem - the way in which they lashed out at UP officials brought their cause down to the level of anarchists hungry for attention. Kulang sa pansin.

Screaming at a UP Chancellor on national television, regardless of a legitimate cause, is downright disrespectful. Throwing paint at him, however wracked with anti-student decisions his record is, cannot be - must not be - condoned, for these are the acts of barbarians. These are the actions of uneducated people.

These are not the actions of students from the University of the Philippines.

A noble cause such as fighting for student rights and representation, calling for a more accessible education for the poor, decrying an ever-shrinking budget for education, and exposing the detrimental actions of the UP administration, is only hurt and diminished by the application of such violent and barbaric protest actions.

I am a UP student, and I feel ashamed for the actions of my schoolmates. However much I support their cause, I cannot - I will not - support the actions of these people.

As such, I take offense at this Facebook group/event "apologizing" for the events of March 24, 2010. I almost signed on, seeing that this was "A Public Apology from the UP Community". I was about to join, until I read the supposed "apology" more carefully and saw that this was no apology at all but a justification of the shameful actions of the protesters at the BOR meeting.

We do not apologize, however, for our militant actions; again, we wish to emphasize that the inconsiderate leadership of the Roman administration has left us with no other choice but to confront it head-on.

How much of the UP Community really shares this sentiment? How many UP students support this blatant justification of violence to support one's protests? Isn't this the very thing we all fight against? Whenever police violently break up rallies, whenever soldiers shoot at protesters, Mendiola, Hacienda Luisita, Manila Peninsula - aren't these the very same things this "apology" condones and justifies?

Granted, throwing paint is not the same as shooting unarmed civilians with automatic rifles, or bashing them with riot shields, or with hauling media personnel off to prison without warrants, but isn't this where it all starts? Before, they threw eggs at former AFP Chief of Staff Hermogenes Esperon. Now, its paint balls at UPLB Chancellor Velasco. What's next, Molotov cocktails?

The Board of Regents, UP President Emerlinda Roman, and UPLB Chancellor Velasco have much to answer for, yes. They have never really listened much to students before, but do you really think that they will listen to us now after that barbaric display at Quezon Hall?

The entire nation looks to us Iskolars ng Bayan as their hope for the future. Even with the ever-rising tuition rates, the people's taxes, rich and poor both, still support our studies. Is this what we want them to see as the result of their support? Is this what they are paying for?

We apologize further for the apathy of those in our ranks who seem to be more concerned with civil gestures rather than the welfare of the people.

The "civil gestures" this "apology" belittles are the very things which separate our society from barbarians and savages. Taking it further brings us closer to justifying the actions of terrorists - one man's terrorist is another man's freedom fighter, right? - who kill and destroy "for the welfare of the people". Is this what the UP Community really supports?

But maybe I may be just taking it a bit too far. The welfare of the people is hardly served by such violent, theatrical, media-grabbing behavior as throwing paint on people. The welfare of the people is not served by screaming at people. And I assure you, concern with "civil gestures" is not apathy, it is a sign of restraint, of respect, of a civilized and educated person who doesn't need to scream and throw paint balls to have his or her voice heard.

I believe that no one in UP is apathetic. We get bombarded with issues every day in our classrooms, in our hallways and in our streets. I believe that everyone cares or at least knows about the issues. However, not everyone goes out to the streets to rail and chant and clash with riot police. Not everyone wears red and carries placards and posters. And not everyone screams at UP officials and pelts them with paint balls.

Not everyone has such shameful behavior as the protesters last March 24.

final lap

It all ends on Tuesday. Six days to go. 144 hours left. The first person I see on or after the 31st gets a free chocolate sundae. Hahaha.

Work. Work. Work. Work. Work. After the last paper has been passed, after the last CD has been burned, after the last email has been sent, after the last newspaper has been analyzed, after the last respondent has turned in his or her survey, I will... I don't know.

Maybe I'll run to the Shopping Center and splurge on computer games and DVDs. Then I'll run right home and spend the next few days fixed in front of the computer. And just maybe I'll gain a pound or two more.

Maybe I'll have a steak dinner at Trinoma. To hell with the cost and my weight. Hahaha.

Maybe I'll go sit at the Sunken Garden and enjoy a few minutes of solitude under the trees with a chocolate milk shake.

Maybe I'll drop by the chapel, and take the time to say thank you.

Six days. 144 hours. 8,640 minutes.

It will all end, soon.

tough choices

Desperate times call for desperate measures.

The execution of such measures depends on how far you are willing to go and how much you are willing to risk.

As such, the choices you end up with can be very hard to take. The decision to execute one of these choices can be very hard to make.

But it has to be made.

There are two options available for me right now; two options which could be the key to resolving the current situation.

What situation is that, you ask? Well... Let's just keep that under wraps for the time being okay? For now, I'll keep it all in code.

Imagine you're outnumbered by enemy forces, pinned down by a huge volume of weapons fire, just a few moments from being overrun. What do you do?

Option A: Broken Arrow
You scream "Broken arrow!" into the radio. According to Wikipedia, this is the United States code for calling in all available aircraft or artillery for an air strike and/or artillery strike very near a friendly position which has been overrun by the foe, and therefore creating a high probability of 'Blue-on-Blue' (or friendly fire). Like in this scene from the movie We Were Soldiers.

It's desperate and very risky. In effect, you are pulling all the stops in an attempt to stave off defeat by bringing down massive firepower near where you are. You do everything necessary to save what you have. However, you do this at great risk to the lives of your soldiers, as you call in fire near and among them. In doing so, you risk losing much of what you are.

Option B: Hammerdown
You initiate the "Hammerdown Protocol". According to WikiAnswers, this is a plot device used in the movie Cloverfield. Because they (the US military) were not able to destroy the monster through any other means, an order was given to "hammer down" and destroy New York City in an attempt to destroy the monster. To put it simply, a character in the movie says that "the government is willing to let Manhattan go".

A similar incident can be seen in the "Whiskey Hotel" mission of Modern Warfare 2. In this one, the player has to reach the roof of the White House and deploy green flares to call off the incoming air strike which, if not stopped, would flatten Washington, D.C.

This option, as stated above, means that you are willing to let go of everything you have built and fought for in order to defeat the enemy. You lose everything in the blink of an eye. You win, but at such a grievous cost.

Which option should I choose? Do I risk losing a large part of myself in one, or risk losing it all in the other? It's a tough choice. However, there's still some time before that choice has to be made.

Not much, but some.

a fleeting moment

It has been a long time since I've been here. Anticipating. Waiting. Straining at the very end of my leash, yearning to hear my name over the din of applause.

A very long time, indeed. The last time I was here was during my high school graduation. A stage. An audience. A piece of paper. Fulfillment, even for just a few moments. Everything is in place, and problems fade into the background.

Euphoria blanks out a fast approaching thesis deadline. Domestic disputes and organizational quibbles are drowned out by the sound of applause. The here and the now is all that matters.

The stage comes closer one step at a time, as name after name is called. Applause. Step forward. Wait. Applause. Step up. Wait. Applause. Walk forward.

Everything fades into a blur. The lights blot out the audience. The sound fades. Handshake. Scroll. Smile. Thank you sir. Handshake. Smile. Thank you sir. Walk forward. Step down. Smile all the way.

For a fleeting moment everything is perfect. Everything. Perfect. The feeling lasts all the way back to the seats. Everything is perfect.

And then reality explodes all around. The black bag, the papers, the time. All scream "Thesis!' The euphoria fades. The smile goes away. The scroll becomes another piece of paper among a bag full of papers.

The names fade. The applause fades. The theater disappears. A new feeling emerges.

Determination. A renewed drive for perfection, for success, for fulfillment.

This is just a taste of what is to come.

curtain call

Indecision is one of my greater weaknesses. I spend a lot of time vacillating between one choice and the other, seemingly incapable of choosing between the two. God forbid I get three or more choices.

Things as trivial as whether or not I should go to the UP Fair tonight or what book should I read or what chocolate bar should I eat take up an inordinate amount of time in my head. Bigger problems end up paralyzing my thought processes.

I wait for better choices. I look for easier ways out. I pray that someone else makes the decision for me. Pathetic. Weak.

How I wish that things could be easier, that I could be more decisive. That I could live with the decisions I make.

That is the real cause of my indecision. The fear that I would not be able to live with the consequences of my decisions. I end up vacillating for a long time, then go with the safer, less disruptive, and ultimately weaker choice.

My new video card made every game on my desktop run very smoothly. A big surprise, given that we bought a cheap card on impulse without even checking out what its capabilities were. Anyway, Modern Warfare 2 runs like a dream, with nary a stutter or a hint of lag. So much so that it is now even easier to focus on the game. It pulls you in and shuts out the real world around you.

The effect is near-perfect accuracy, quick reflexes, and a drive to get things done quickly and efficiently. No distractions. Heads get blown off with unerring predictability. But hey, it's just a game. No consequences in the real world, save for lost time and productivity.

But mowing down people costs you nothing. Getting killed costs but a few seconds of reloading a saved game. Losing is near impossible, as one can just play again and again and again until he gets it right. Wrong or bad decisions ultimately have no real consequences.

Maybe that's the key to my indecision: decide as if there are no consequences. Better put; decide and take the consequences - whatever they may be - as they are. No more pining over what could have been or concocting "what-if" scenarios. Just play the game of life as best you can.

Look at the choices. Weigh them against each other and decide based on their merits. Decide for yourself, don't make the world decide for you.

random nothings

Alert. Alive. Awake. Enthusiastic?

Four in the morning. This is getting to be a habit. A bad one.

This time I can't sleep because of the huge dinner I had a few hours ago. Three pork chops and one overflowing plate of rice at midnight. Midnight.

Add to that the fact that my brain has been running quite hot these past few days. So much so that I couldn't get a handle on a lot of the ideas which randomly pop out in the most inopportune places and moments. Like while I'm taking a shower or crossing a busy road.

Times like these should be used productively and not spent staring out into the darkness. Rogue ideas should be caught and corralled; the rare light bulbs flashing must be put to good use.

Lady Gaga is screaming in my head. Beats the hell out of that damned campaign jingle asking me if I've ever had the privilege of swimming in a sea of garbage. I could write a bad romance about that. Hahaha.

Maybe I will.

catch up

It's been a good two weeks since I last wrote here, and a lot has happened since then. Time to catch up on some things. Hehehe.

I was bedridden for much of last week, thanks to the insane mix of tequila, margarita, vodka, and red wine I drank with my cousins during our overnight stay at Fontana. No more drinking for a very long time, or at least not that much ever again. It was the hangover from hell, and not even my brand new laptop could take away the pain I felt every time I moved.

Brand new laptop?

Yep. Since my desktop's graphics card got fried two weeks ago after over three years of nearly continuous use, I was forced to abstain from playing any computer games. No longer. Now I can play Modern Warfare 2 while lying down on my bed. Hahaha. I got my dad to buy my aunt's high-end laptop a week ago, and now I have all that my old desktop could offer plus more. Fingerprint recognition?

Yes.

No more passwords for me. A swipe of any of my fingers and my Windows Vista account opens up. Surfing the Internet while lying down in bed and munching on Milky Way chocolates is a far cry from alcohol-induced headaches and stomach pains. The hangover from hell had given way to a taste of heaven on earth.

Now this kind of lifestyle appears to be the very epitome of laziness, but contrary to what you might expect I was out of the house more often. Once my hangover cleared I went out to play Frisbee for my PE class. Unfortunately, it was too much and too soon, and I was forced to sit down after a few minutes of tossing a Frisbee around.

Just this weekend I went on a trip to Intramuros with my friends. Hehehe. we had been planning to do this for the longest time (I think it's been a year already) and when we finally did it we only got to tour one street. Just one street. There was so much to see and we were sucked into a gallery of antique furniture and paintings - too bad taking photos was not allowed inside - which took so much of our time that the museum at San Agustin Church was closing by the time we got there. Ditto Casa Manila.

After shooting a lot of photos of ourselves (see here and here) we had dinner at one of the many restaurants in Chinatown. Best pata tim yet. Hahaha.

Yesterday marked me and my gummi bear's 11th month together. Only another 30 days to go before we reach our first anniversary. To celebrate, we had lunch at Chocolate Kiss. Best. Chicken Kiev. Ever. Hahaha.

Last thing. Thesis. Groundwork is done. Revision and data gathering to follow. Hehehe.

the bright side

Sleep just won't come.

For some stupid reason I just can't sleep, hence this blog post at four in the freakin' morning. Insomnia? Too much on my mind? Thesis? Weird effects of the flu? A lack of sheep to count?

I just don't know.

So much for the first school week of 2010. I missed my Journalism 122 class because of the flu and got even more delayed in finishing my thesis. My desktop computer of three years finally broke down; the initial diagnosis is that the graphics card gave out. No more Modern Warfare 2 or Empire: Total War for a few days at the least.

Year of the Tiger. Hah. More like the year of the Scare-dy Cat. Where's all my good luck? Serves me right for listening to astrologers. I should know better, y'know? Argh. Drifting, spinning, digressing, annoying. ANYWAY...

Deep breath. Let's look at this from another perspective. This could be one ironic twist of good luck for me. Irritating, yes, but this could be the universe's way of kicking me in the butt while screaming GET SOME WORK DONE! Taking away that black hole that has been sucking up all of my supposedly productive waking hours and leaving me with this poor excuse of a computer is actually one way of forcing me to start working on the things I should be doing - LIKE MY THESIS.

There. No distractions. No problem. Now all I have to contend with is this DARNED FLU. Vodka, chocolates, and an ambient temperature of near zero is NOT a good combination. Hahaha. The other good thing with the temporary loss of the desktop is that I am now FORCED to get some rest. Some time away from the computer should get me back to normal sooner than expected.

That's looking at the bright side right there. Ooh. Here's another one. All of the things that have happened gave me this opportunity to write this blog! Yey!

Now I wish I get to write something better soon.

2010-01

To hell with the title.

That's what gets me stuck whenever I try to write. I spend a very long time just staring at the screen or at the paper trying to think of a good title for what I'm going to write. This blog is no exception. I must have spent over 20 minutes trying to come up with a flashy or catchy or relevant title.

Hahaha. Anyway, 2010 is here. Just a little over 24 hours ago I was cowering behind our front wall while rockets, star shells, and flares lit up the night, waiting for the stray bullet or errant rocket with my name on it to come and end my misery. No kidding. While there were less firecrackers in our area this year - this was the quietest New Year's Eve I've seen - what little there was was a little too much.

At least three rockets from our next door neighbors blew up prematurely within 10 meters from where I was standing. A fireworks launcher nearby misfired and sent shells into the house beside us and the street in front of us. I spent most of the time crouched down with only my head looking over the wall at the light show outside.

What a way to start the new year. Hahaha. About the only thing missing was the helmet, uniform, and the gun and I could be one of the soldiers in my computer games. Needless to say, the need to play Modern Warfare 2 at full volume died as the first misfired rocket blew up a few feet away from me.

2010-01. My first blog for the new year. I survived the festivities, and now I have a whole year ahead of me. 364 days more to live. 8736 more hours to spend at work, at play, doing nothing, procrastinating, sleeping, eating, writing, living.

It's the Year of the Tiger according to the Chinese (by February, at least) so this is my year. I don't intend to waste it.