nightmares

I think I had my first nightmare in a very long time. At least I think I did. I'm not even sure if I slept a wink last night.

The one thing I hate about long vacations is the insomnia that comes with it. Maybe it's because I'm currently doing nothing. Maybe it's because for the first time in months I don't feel the least bit tired. Or maybe it's because I've got too much on my mind -AGAIN.

I spent a good part of this morning just tossing and turning on my bed. I don't know why, but my head hurt like hell. Too much coffee? Nah, there's no such thing as too much coffee. Besides, I only had two small cups the night before.

The irony is just amazing. Just a few short weeks ago I was dead tired from a lack of sleep; 5 hours in bed was a godsend. Now I can't sleep until 3 in the morning, even without caffeine coursing through my veins.

I felt really bad on waking up this morning. The coughing and the resurgent headache kept me in bed until well after lunch. A relapse? I sure hope not. That damned disease screwed up ALL my plans, and I have no idea what to do to repair the damage. Time is against me. I'm starting to think that I'm destined to fail; everything I try to do is stopped or blocked by things beyond my control.

Fatalistic? Defeatist? This is not me. But I'm tired. Dead tired. This IS a nightmare.

incomplete

Some of my grades are already up on CRS. I must say that I'm really surprised by the results.
I got a 2 in PI 100! Yes! I had expected a 2.5, but hey, I must have done something right!

I got a 1.5 in Comm 3. That darned group report must have dragged down what should have been a 1.25, but I'm still happy with the outcome.

And now, here's the kicker. I got an INCOMPLETE for Film 100. COME ON! That makes THREE incomplete grades for the semester!

I just passed my Journ 100 requirements this morning, so that little pothole should be smoothed over by now.

My English 1 professor would have me write a make-up essay in lieu of the final exam which I missed; that pothole should be over and done with by November.

But Film 100? THAT was a real surprise! I must be slipping. That damned dengue fever-induced vacation really screwed my life up big time!

Stress. Stress. Stress. It's piling up again.

This was supposed to be my week off, but no, problems are raining down on me. AAAARGH!

Time to raid the chocolate box.

a box of chocolates

I'm hungry.

I can't explain it, but my stomach is grumbling quite noisily. I ate a big dinner, yes, but I'm still hungry!

Erika's mom sent over a box of chocolates from the States a few days ago, and it's tantalizingly within reach. So close, but I've already had four pieces of the luscious milk chocolate within the past 20 minutes.

Four pieces in 20 minutes.

Four pieces in 20 minutes.

I WANT MORE!

I crave that delectable taste in my mouth, that creamy feeling in my tongue, that momentary sense of perfection and satisfaction as the chocolate slides down my gullet...

Ooh... I WANT MORE CHOCOLATE!

But, l must restrain myself. I must control myself. I must preserve the chocolate for tomorrow. Yes. Conserve resources. Preserve the wealth.

I must get back to my Journ 100 assignment. Enough of this foolishness.

No more chocolate tonight.

No more chocolate tonight.

No more chocolate tonight.

AARGH!

Must... Have... Chocolate!

AAAAA...!

back home

Yes, I'm back, and I'm still very much alive.

Thanks to everyone for your help, support, and prayers; a very special thank you to my donors -you know who you are.

Now I have to get back to my (normal) life. I've still got papers to write, exams to take, and applications to fill up.

Of course now I also have to intensify my anti-mosquito technology research and development efforts. I can't afford another bout of dengue fever. A lot of baby mosquitoes are going to die tonight...

portfolio 1: confessions of a commuter

**I'll be posting my three best essays in English 1 for the next few days. Since I'm supposed to encode them, why not also post them? Hehehehe. Seriously now, I'll be submitting these essays as a final project so please feel free to point out any mistakes in spelling, grammar, and common sense. Violent reactions and brutal comments will be most appreciated.

Confessions of a Commuter

I want a car. No, I need a car. How I wish that I could get from Point A to Point B with minimal effort, like the lucky souls who have their own cars, instead of having to contend with the chaotic public transportation system. As a commuter, not only do I have to live with barely controlled chaos, I also have to compete with other commuters. I am also witness to one of the fiercest battles of our time. I see it nearly every day, even on those rare occasions when I'm lucky enough to ride in my dad's car.

This battle is between two of what can arguably be called the most Pinoy of our public utility vehicles (PUVs): the jeepney and the FX taxi. These two are certainly unique to our country, and they are the most prolific PUVs on our streets. They are also locked in an inevitable conflict over the one resource which drives a PUV: passengers. The question then is, who is winning the battle? Will the iconic jeepney eventually triumph over the FX, or will the upstart FX sweep away the jeepney? I think that it's a bit of a stalemate, but see and judge for yourselves as I take you along on one of my days as a commuter.

I encounter three types of PUVs every time I step out of the house: short-, medium-, and long-range PUVs. Usually, I just walk to the main road, so I dispense with the short-range PUVs; the foot powered pedicabs and the more advanced tricycles. A normal day won't have me going to Makati or Paranaque, so I won't need a long-range PUV; either a bus or the Metro Rail Transit (MRT). A normal day would definitely have me using medium-range PUVs; the jeepneys and the FX taxis. I won't count the normal taxi cabs here, as I simply can't afford them.

A normal day would have me walking to the terminal at the top of the main road, where I will have the choice of taking a jeepney or an FX taxi. I usually queue up for an FX taxi, as it is (usually) the first to leave the terminal. Another reason why I prefer the FX taxi is that it its fast.

The FX taxi was originally supposed to be a high-capacity cab, but it has since evolved into a mini-jeepney capable of carrying 10 passengers. It is fast, but its speed is not of the Formula 1 variety. Travel by FX is usually quicker because the drivers follow a defined but flexible route. They tend to go for the shortest way possible, utilizing shortcuts and back roads which they also use to go around traffic-prone areas. My daily commute -from home to Katipunan Avenue- is about 11 kilometers. Travelling that 11 kilometer stretch by FX takes only about 15 minutes.

A trip on a jeepney would take twice the time, since jeepneys are confined to a fixed route. In my case, the jeepney route from home to Katipunan is more circuitous than that taken by the FX, adding some 10-15 minutes to the travel time. In terms of travel speed, the FX taxi beats the jeepney.

The jeepney was born at the end of World War 2, fashioned out of surplus American utility vehicles. Since then, it has become an icon of Philippine society and culture and, some say, has become an art form. Indeed, with all the ornamentation and colors of the jeepney, you would feel like travelling in a mobile art gallery. However, the beauty of the jeepney is only skin deep, for past the ornate decorations and paintings is an old and oftentimes broken-down body.

The jeepney has been with us for decades, and it shows. The interior of most jeepneys these days are dirty at best, corroded at worst. The floors are often rusted and littered with food wrappers and dirt, the seats are torn and frayed, and the engines are an environmentalist's nightmare. I have had an experience wherein cockroaches were quite literally crawling out of the woodwork. Mosquitoes are also present in many jeepneys. 60 years is such a long time, yet the only innovation in the jeepney's design which has been adopted nearly everywhere is the string in the ceiling which switches on a light that signals the driver to stop.

An FX on the other hand, does not have intricate statuettes on its hood. No paintings adorn its sides. However, it is air conditioned. Its seats are soft and cushy, which is a huge improvement from the sometimes hard and even wooden seats of a jeepney. The interior of an FX is so comfortable that I always take the opportunity to sneak in a few minutes of shut-eye. Most FXs are also well-maintained, and some come with air fresheners or even fresh sampaguita which really does a lot to lighten one's mood.Yes, the jeepney is a work of art on the outside, but the FX is a work of art where it counts.

The FX taxi is still a bit of a puzzle though. All FX taxis have LTFRB- or LTO-registered fare meters, but these are never used. Instead, passengers are charged flat fees. 10 pesos is the minimum while 25 pesos is the maximum, depending on the destination. This is where the jeepney trumps the FX. A jeepney charges a minimum fare of 7 pesos which increases with distance, and students and senior citizens can even avail of a discount which lowers the minimum fare to 6 pesos. Travelling by jeepney is so cheap that -all things being equal- I would rather take a jeepney than take an FX. All other things are not equal, however, so the relief you give to your wallet will cost you quality of service. To cash-strapped individuals though the savings would be more welcome than the few minutes in an air conditioned FX. The jeepney clearly takes this round.

So far, we have looked at the major qualities of the jeepney and the FX taxi. The FX provides faster and more efficient service and is a more comfortable ride than the jeepney. The jeepney, on the other hand, is more affordable. Now, let's look at how they affect their surroundings.

Not a day passes wherein I don't mutter a curse directed at a PUV driver, be it a tricycle, bus, taxi, jeepney, or FX driver. I'm a stickler for rules, and it's a fact of life that Filipino public utility vehicles have little or no regard for traffic rules and regulations. They swerve and overtake carelessly. They stop and disgorge passengers at areas clearly designated as "no loading and unloading" zones. They clog up roads by stopping and waiting for passengers in the middle of traffic. Traffic grinds to a halt as enterprising drivers try to turn 2-lane roads into 6-lane highways in a mad race to be first; instead of lining up in an orderly fashion these drivers persist in exploiting every gap in traffic, at the expense of other drivers and even of road safety.

Of course there are exceptions, but they are few and far between. I have seen FX drivers blatantly ignoring traffic enforcers who flag them down. I have been in a jeepney whose driver had ambitions of joining the Air Force; he kept swerving and banking the jeepney at such high speeds that we were clinging on to anything which would keep us from flying out onto the street. I could go on and on, but that would require another essay. Suffice to say, both the FX and the jeepney fail in this round.

The FX taxi clearly beats the jeepney 2 to 1. Both negatively impact their surroundings with their effect on traffic and their contribution to problems with road order and safety.

However, I still think that this battle will end in a stalemate. Why? Even though the FX taxi provides better service, its relatively high cost still ensures demand for the jeepney. Not everyone can afford to ride an FX, especially the masses who have come to depend so much on the jeepney for getting around. No clear winner can emerge, as those who can afford it would pick the FX over the jeepney. Of course, this assessment is based on my own experience, so you are free to agree or disagree and form your own judgement.

For better or for worse, both the jeepney and the FX taxi are here to stay.

portfolio 2: surviving the university of pila

**I'll be posting my three best essays in English 1 for the next few days. Since I'm supposed to encode them, why not also post them? Hehehehe. Seriously now, I'll be submitting these essays as a final project so please feel free to point out any mistakes in spelling, grammar, and common sense. Violent reactions and brutal comments will be most appreciated.

Surviving the University of Pila

The enrollment process in UP is really simple. You simply get a Form 5A from your college, verify your subjects, add some more or drop a few if you want, then transfer the information to a Form 5. Have the form checked and assessed, and then all you have left to do is to pay your tuition fee. That simple, at least in theory.

Reality, however, is different from theory. Enrollment in UP, oftentimes referred to as registration, is oftentimes an exercise in frustration. Yes freshies, it's not as easy as you think. You've gone through it once, but we upperclassmen have gone through it lots of times. You still have top priority over us, so this coming semester, enjoy it while you can. Once you enter your sophomore year, you'll find out what I'm talking about. Better for you if you find out now though, so read on.

We UP students are very lucky; we get to choose which classes to attend every semester. We're not forced to follow some rigid schedule, and we can even avoid the so-called terror professors! However, this comes at a high price, and payment is due during the enrollment period. Yes, this is the main problem you will encounter once you become sophomores. The mad scramble for subjects and classes is what makes enrollment in UP so frustrating.

Let's go through all the steps once again. The aforementioned Form 5A is the product of what we call PRE-ENLISTMENT. The Computerized Registration System (CRS) is responsible for getting you the subjects you want. As freshies, you can just collect and select any subject you want, thanks to your "priority" status. Once that's gone, you'll join every other student in what amounts to a lottery; when you pre-enlist in a subject, there is a large chance that you won't get it, especially if it's a GE subject. The CRS will randomly select from the students who pre-enlisted in that subject. So while you get to see filled-up Form 5As, the rest of us end up with nearly blank pieces of paper come ENLISTMENT time.

So we've got our Form 5As. You haven't gone through ENLISTMENT yet, so let me tell you now: be prepared. While PRE-ENLISTMENT is done in front of a computer, ENLISTMENT is the hard leg work. Bring food and water with you. Charge your cellphone and stock up on prepaid credits. Grab a thick paperback book as you leave home. This is where you'll find out why UP is often referred to as the "University of Pila". Woe to the poor schmuck who didn't get his classes through CRS; he now has to line up at various enlistment rooms to get the class he wants - or even worse, needs. Pray that you don't end up like that. But, in case you do, the food and water and book will help greatly. You won't have to leave your line and you won't die of boredom. The cellphone will help you keep connected with your friends who might send you important information, like when new classes have opened up. I can't stress this enough: come enlistment time, the person who is the most well-informed has the best chance of surviving the entire enrollment process with his sanity intact.

Aside from keeping informed, you have to be mobile. This is not the time to bring laptops with you. Limit yourself to a pen and essential documents, plus the other items mentioned above, as you will find yourself running to and from different and often widely separated buildings. You have to memorize the layout of the campus - where the important buildings are, the routes of the jeepneys, even the best shortcuts to take. Remember, you are also competing with thousands of other students, so the faster you get to that newly-opened GE class, the better your chances of getting it.

Once you get all your desired classes, you have to transfer all the information from your Form 5A to a Form 5. Be careful with this! Check that all the information on your Form 5A is correct before you write on your Form 5, as this will save you the trouble of having to rewrite and start from scratch when the people at CHECKING find a mistake.

When you've had Form 5 checked by the registration assistants, your next step will be ASSESSMENT. This is the easy part. You go to a room where accounts look over your Form 5 and tell you how much your tuition fee is going to be. You are then all set for PAYMENT. One last line, and you're all done.

As you can see, the major problem with registration is in the ENLISTMENT part. This will take up most of your time and will be the main source of your frustration. Trust me. I know. To get through the enrollment process, or more precisely the ENLISTMENT process, you have to be prepared, be informed, and be mobile. Those are the keys to surviving enrollment at UP.

Don't worry. You'll only be doing this at least four times during your UP life, unless you opt for summer classes. Once you reach "graduating" status, you'll be a "priority" once again.

portfolio 3: addicted to anime

**I'll be posting my three best essays in English 1 for the next few days. Since I'm supposed to encode them, why not also post them? Hehehehe. Seriously now, I'll be submitting these essays as a final project so please feel free to point out any mistakes in spelling, grammar, and common sense. Violent reactions and brutal comments will be most appreciated.

Addicted to Anime

I miss my childhood days. School was not much of a problem then, and I was blissfully unaware of what was happening beyond the four corners of our home. I spent my time reading books and playing with the many toys in my room. I also reserved certain hours for watching cartoons on TV. I remember mornings watching Robotech, afternoons with Gundam Wing, and weekends with Voltes V. I was fascinated with robots and spaceships then, and the rich helping of colorful explosions which came with such fare brightened up my life. These cartoons also told stories which made me look forward to every episode.

I now know these cartoons as "anime" since they originally came from Japan. There are many different kinds of anime, ranging from those dealing with more mature and violent themes to those which portray magical fantasy worlds. A common feature of most anime is the existence of what most of us would consider as weirdly-drawn characters, in the sense that no one in the real world would look like them. Other anime would have characters who are so cute and adorable that you would really enjoy watching them on TV. A lot of people do enjoy watching anime, but some can be said to have become addicted to it.

Anime can become an obsession. You may have noticed people walking around in outlandish costumes. You may have heard them singing in Japanese. You may have seen them having animated discussions about things which only exist on celluloid and paper. These people may only be pursuing a hobby, but I won't blame you if you believe that they are on the brink of addiction.

What is it that drives people to become obsessed with anime? Why do some people become anime addicts? I asked some of my anime-loving friends, and they gave me a lot of answers. Some said it may be because of the cute and adorable characters, such as those in Pokemon or Super Boink. Some find the fantasy and science-fiction plots intriguing and unpredictable, and this makes them long for anime such as Cardcaptor Sakura and Gundam. Many enjoy the "sense of childhood" they feel while watching anime like Time Quest and Akazukin Chacha. Others love the spectacular action scenes of Samurai X and Flame of Recca. Many find watching anime as an escape from reality, and many also admit to being influenced by peer pressure and the drive to be "in".

Anime can be good for you. It may provide good moral lessons. It can spark the imagination and inspire creativity, especially in children. It most certainly exposes us to another culture and shows us other worlds beyond our own.

However, too much of anything is bad, and anime is no exception. People hooked on anime may sacrifice contact with their family and friends when they are glued to the TV screen. Their pockets and bank accounts can be drained by the urge to collect merchandise associated with anime. Over-identification with the characters and the plot may distort their sense of reality. The more violent-themed anime may cause easily-influenced children to become violent as well.

Anime provides entertainment for many children and young adults today. It may provide a good influence, but it is likewise capable of distorting their lives. As with all things, we must take care not to become (too) addicted to anime.

first strike

CRACK!

She just stood there for a moment, her eyes fixed on the wall behind the other people in the room.

A moment later her lifeless body slumped onto the desk; the back of her head now an odd mix of red and gray.

The echo of the shot, the unmistakable sound of a sniper rifle, was soon drowned out by the blare of alarms.

Spotlights lit off all over the compound as people started running around in a vain attempt to find the assassin.

In all the confusion, no one saw the western horizon turn a bright yellow. That is, until the man-made thunder reached them.

The western sky was suddenly full of smoke trails seemingly reaching for the stars - until a certain point. Steel rain was coming.

***
A desolate and blackened landscape greeted the morning sun.

cold night

Damn cold.

My nose feels like it's been pounded again and again AND AGAIN by a baseball bat. My every breath is punctuated by a sniffle, then a cough, then another sniffle. Once in a while I sneeze, blowing away everything in front of me. My head and my eyes hurt so bad that it's a miracle that I could even think straight right now.

I've been like this for days now. No amount of medicine seems to work. I consume orange juice by the gallon every few hours, yet the cold is still there. I eat like a starved animal every meal time, yet the cold is still there. I sleep way past my normal waking hour, yet the damned cold IS STILL THERE!

I can't breathe. I can't smell a thing. Food tastes bland. I can't think.

Damn cold.

stranded

It's raining cats and dogs outside right now, so I'm quite stuck here in the Shopping Center. It really isn't that bad; I don't have anything else to do before my Comm 3 class at 5:30.

I already got 15 units through CRS. Apparently, the much-vilified Computerized Registration System works quite well within the Diliman campus. I just hope that I get the subjects I want for the next semester.

This semester is already ending. Most of my classes have already ended, and those left would be ending this week. All I have left to do now is to write a whole lot of papers and prepare for my final exams.

I... have run out of things to write about, save for the crappy keyboard I'm using write now. Hordes of DotA players have wiped away the keys - thank God for those typewriting classes in elementary and high school.

Anyway, I have to get going. The rain is still coming down in torrents, but I have to get to CAL within the hour. I guess I'm going to have to ride a jeep again - yes, more money down the drain...