Showing posts with label rants. Show all posts
Showing posts with label rants. Show all posts

Thursday, October 15, 2009

the name of the blame

*This is my second paper for my Journalism 103 (opinion writing) class.

Metro Manila is a mess. Roads are congested. Piles of garbage line its streets and fill its waterways. The city reeks of its own filth.

And that was before tropical storm “Ondoy” came.

On the day that over 400 millimeters of rain came pouring from the sky, the mess became a catastrophe. What we left mismanaged and damaged came back to haunt us all.

We stared in awe at the sheer volume of the rising flood waters and asked where all that water came from, knowing all too well that the denuded mountains and hills in the distance held the answer.

We watched helplessly as the homes, factories, and shopping centers of a poorly – if at all – planned metropolis sank in the middle of natural flood plains between the Marikina and Pasig rivers.

We waited desperately for help to come in the midst of the storm, only to be frustrated by news of rescue teams blocked by congested roads and suffering from a lack of equipment.

When the rain finally stopped we picked through huge piles of garbage. Our own trash, disgorged by the very waterways we turned into latrines, plus the debris from all the destroyed buildings and the mud and silt from the mountains, covered all the streets.

Metro Manila is a mess. Roads are congested. Piles of garbage line its streets and fill its waterways. The city reeks of its own filth.

This is after tropical storm “Ondoy” left.

In the days after the storm, thousands of volunteers picked up the pieces and gave food and supplies to those ravaged by the floods. Unfortunately, such a picture of one nation and one people engaged in bayanihan was not meant to last.

That fleeting moment of national unity was quickly overshadowed by politicians, personalities, and people all pointing fingers and blaming each other for the disaster that brought the capital to its knees.

Critics slammed the national government’s feeble disaster-response capability, even though the blocked roads prevented the rescue teams from getting to where they were needed most.

They scored the weather bureau, the Philippine Atmospheric, Geophysical, and Astronomical Services Administration (PAGASA), for not warning the people about the amount of rain brought by “Ondoy”, even though the tools for doing so were not available.

They blamed the managers of the metropolis’ drainage system for not opening the pumps out of the city, even though doing so would have entailed pumping water into already full rivers.

But these critics need not look far for those who are ultimately to blame for last month’s deluge. They only have to look in front of them, behind them, beside them, around them, within them, for the cause of the disaster.

Yes. We are all to blame.

Our mad rush to build a city caused us to irresponsibly put houses and infrastructure in hazardous areas. Urban planning took a back seat to profit-making.

Our disregard for proper waste management filled our drains, our creeks, and our rivers with garbage that so congested the waterways that the water had nowhere to go but into our living rooms.

Our disrespect for the law led us to tolerate squatters who blocked the main drainage channels out of the city and added to the congestion of our waterways.

Our greed led us to strip the mountains bare of trees and plants, leaving our watersheds without any cover at all from the rains.

Our ignorance kept us from preparing for the inevitable, with money going into worthless endeavors such as junkets abroad instead of proper disaster response equipment, adequate warning systems, and Doppler radars which could have warned us of the amount of rain brought by “Ondoy”.

At the end of it all, we are left with what we have sown.

Now, let us plant new seeds in the mud left by this disaster. Let us learn from our mistakes, and not repeat them in the future, lest we suffer another “Ondoy”.

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

downgraded

I've forgotten how much of a pain it is to use a little keypad. My fingers hurt after five days of having to contend with a barely functioning navigation pad and hard plastic keys.

Nearly two years on, and it's finally time to retire my XDA2. Hahahaha. The old PDA has been going on and on for quite some time now. It still works, but the battery is no longer reliable. The phone will shut down and reset over and over again at the slightest change in temperature.

Using the camera will cause the PDA to reset. I have to charge the phone every time I use Pocket Word or Excel, or when I have to make a call. There goes my portable office. Hahaha.

Now I have to make do with a second-hand Nokia 6020. Argh. From a touch screen to a keypad. Handwriting recognition to text-speak. It's insulting. Hahaha.

Haaay... At least I still have a phone though. There are many others out there who don't have the luxury of complaining about the loss of their portable e-book reader or the removal of their ability to store thousands of text messages.

Look at the bright side, I'll get a new phone by next month. Hahaha. I'll just sell my old phones for quick cash.

Monday, October 27, 2008

that perfect moment

I hadn't seen the inside of a Starbucks in a very long time, so it was a real special treat when I walked into the one at Santana Grove in Sucat this morning.

I had a fun time at our batch reunion last night, even though I was tipsy the whole time from four straight shots of Absolut Vodka. Hahaha. At least I did not walk into any glass doors!

It was all worth it though - I won a Starbucks gift certificate! It's always the little things... That's 100 pesos worth of free stuff from my favorite coffee shop, and I still have that other gift certificate I got nearly two years ago.

So there I was at Santana Grove. I wanted a steaming cup of White Chocolate Mocha, my favorite drink since I discovered coffee. Hahaha. Who knew that I would cause such a fuss in that little shop?

I had been saving my other gift certificate. It was a Christmas gift from my cousins, and it would get me any drink of any size I wanted anytime I wanted it. I was waiting for the perfect moment to cash in that certificate for a Venti White Chocolate Mocha, and I thought, what the hell, better use it now so that I could stay awake during the long journey from Paranaque to Marikina.

My world crumbled when the barista told me that the certificate was no longer valid.

Exxagerated, yes, but I realized a lot right there and then. I just ordered a tall drink. 125 pesos for coffee. How sad. Hahaha.

Waiting for that one perfect moment cost me my gift certificate.

I sat on that certificate for nearly a year, waiting for the one perfect moment to use it. A lot of opportunities came by, but I chose to hold back and wait for another time, one better than the opportunity I had right then and there.

The ironic thing is that I myself had no idea what "the one perfect moment" was.

It was just something I thought I would know when it came, but everytime I had an opportunity, I always thought that it was not the right time. Always. I waited for perfection.

But nothing is ever perfect
.

It's not just with coffee (Oo may lesson dito hahaha). Nothing is perfect. No one is perfect. There is no such thing as perfection. There is no such thing as "the perfect moment".

There is only the here and the now.

Live life, live each moment to the fullest. You never know when that one moment would be your last. You never know when that would be your last chance.

You may be so engrossed with waiting for that impossible perfect moment that you let life pass you by.

It's not that we should live loose and fast. It's not that we should be careless with our lives. It's not that we should not plan for the future. It's all about making each moment, each day, each opportunity count.

Hahaha. All this because of a cup of coffee. But there is more to this tale. I was waiting for my coffee at the counter when the barista asked to see the gift certificate again. She said that she wanted to ask their manager about it. Guess what?
The certificate was still good.

Hahaha. We all had a good laugh over how I had kept it with me for a very very long time. Apparently, the certificate had no expiration date, but they were using a different color for their certificates already - it was that old.

I'll have that Venti White Chocolate Mocha next time I go to Starbucks. Hehehe.

Tuesday, September 02, 2008

pushing forward

Time travel is a very fascinating idea. Who would not want to go back into the past and see how history was made? Who would not want to go into the future to see how things will be?
Who would not want to have the power to change things by going back or jumping forward?

In computer games there is always some sort of a "save" system. The player can pause the game at any time and "save" his progress. If things go bad, the player can always "load" that save file and start over from that point in the game.
If only life had a save system.

There are many things in the past which I want to witness for myself. As a child, I wanted to go back to the age of the dinosaurs and see with my own eyes my favorite animals. As a teenager, I wanted to go back through human history and watch how wars were fought and won, how civilization evolved and moved forward.

There were times when I wanted to go back in time to correct a mistake, to change an error, or to do things in a different way. With the clear vision of hindsight...

There were also times when I wanted to go back in time to relive a certain moment, to be with a certain someone once again, to be in a special place one more time. Just one more time...

If only I could turn back time...

I don't know exactly what triggered this feeling. Reminiscing. Remembering. Hoping.

Could it have been my experience at the DENR? I spent most of last night tossing and turning in bed, moving in and out of sleep. I actually dreamt of writing that story when I fell asleep. I thought of writing that story when I was awake. Overly grade-conscious, yes, but that doesn't explain why I am what I am today.

Could it have been my time at the Sunken Garden? Staring out at the long green grass, with birds flying all around, and with soft, puffy clouds up in the blue sky... Maybe.

It could have been because I read my old blog posts for the first time in months. I have a feature article to write for Friday, and I looked at my old blog about Palawan to get an idea of what to write for that article.

I soon ended up reading my other old blog posts, reminiscing about times gone by, remembering cherished moments, hoping that I could relive them one more time.

While browsing through YouTube the other day I stumbled upon this little video clip from CNN. This may very well be the closest thing we can have to time travel. Dr. Mallet proposes a "time travel machine" which works by twisting space with lasers, which in effect also twists time thus creating a sort of "loop" through time. The catch, though, is that if we ever get that machine up and running and capable of physically transporting a human instead of just subatomic particles, the farthest we can reach back in the past is only to the time wherein the "time machine" was first turned on.

In the same way, with my blog I can only go back to the time wherein I first wrote in my blog. I only have a personal record of my past -other than the memories locked in my mind- up until my very first blog post.

I can only go back to January 18, 2005. Hahaha. Just a little more than three years. Rereading my old blog really brings back memories. It also allowed me to see how much I've changed over the years.

I want to point out two of my old blog posts. One was about a national issue while the other was about how I thought things should be. Now, three years later, I write about very different things in a very different way.

In a way, I miss how I was able to write about issues and current events. I miss how I was able to articulate a call for change in my blog. Over time, however, I became disillusioned. Nothing was happening anyway, and I realized that I was writing about the same things, the same people, and the same problems over and over again. And I don't want to keep on repeating myself. About the only change I can expect is the change that I can effect as a student, as a future journalist, as an org president, as a future president.

Change. The only thing constant in the universe is change.

A lot of things have changed. Over the years, I have changed.

Time travel is a fascinating idea, yes, but why pine for a way to go back into the past when one can move forward into the future?

I want to see the past as much as anybody. I want to go back and change things if only could. But would I really want to change history?

I am a different person today. My experiences in the past have made me so. The people I met, the people I left, the mistakes I made, the success I enjoyed, the choices, the decisions, the conflicts - everything has contributed to what I am today.

The past will always remain the past. "Past is past", a friend once said. You can reminisce all you want. You can remember all you can. You can hope to change what you've done or to go back to what you were all you want, but the past will always remain the past.

You cannot do anything about the past. You can only keep moving forward into the future.

Learn from the past. Learn from your mistakes. Learn from your success. Keep pushing forward.

I remember now. I watched Meet the Robinsons on the Disney Channel last Sunday. "Keep moving forward".

Thursday, December 20, 2007

o holy crap



Yes. I'm in a VERY EVIL MOOD today.

The "carolers" outside only serve to fuel my rage. Thank heaven for earphones; I can drown out the out-of-tone screeches of the children outside with white noise.

I know, I know. I'm being a Scrooge. Don't send the ghosts of Christmas after me.

I really need some stress relief.

Friday, September 07, 2007

waiting is the hardest part

Who knew that I would be spending so much time in Internet cafes this month?

Our interview project is due in an hour and a half, yet I still don't have it in my hands. We will be having a quiz on the Chinese and Japanese press(es?) tomorrow but our handout and the quiz itself is not yet ready.

I do have a lot of time on my hands, but most of it is spent waiting. Yes. Waiting. Waiting for my groupmate to send our interview project to me, waiting for my other groupmates to finish our handouts so I can make my quiz questions, and waiting for the YouTube video I'm watching to kill time to finally load!

I envy the guys on the other computers; they have all the time in the world to play online games. Of course I was just about ready to wring the necks of the damned fools who were screaming out their kills on DotA a while ago, and I have reservations as to the legality of providing computer games so close to an educational institution.

I now believe the horror stories I've heard about PLDT Internet service. The Internet connection here, previously way faster than what we have at home, has been erratic. I guess it's the same at other 'Net cafes here at the Shopping Center.

The timing is just right. I've got an essay to write for English 1, and the topic is on 'addiction'. There are a lot of people here right now, almost all of them lining up to play DotA. What's up with that game ba? Yikes. Conyo side asserting itself. Hehehehe...

I've just about finished downloading the last four parts of our project. Now all we have to do is to have them printed. In color. At 30 pesos a page. With 9 pages. Waiting's over, here comes the pain!

Saturday, September 01, 2007

first of september

Back on a public computer, I am.

I've been here for an hour now. I'm hungry, but my meeting at Jollibee won't be until 1 o'clock. After that will be our group interview with Edgardo Vinarao. The knowledge I gained from my Film 100 class would be really put to the test, as he's a film director who directed and edited a lot of Filipino films.

My Journalism 100 report this morning went well; I barely stuttered and I even managed to make the class laugh a bit, which is quite a lot given my record with public speaking. I hope I get to cure my stage fright in the future. If I want to rule this country with an iron fist become a politician or a lawyer I have to learn to control the stress and anxiety associated with addressing a large group of people. It's really no problem when I know the people I'm speaking to but it gets dicey the moment I step up to speak before people I barely know.

That's why I took Communications 3 this semester. That subject is why I'm typing on a public computer right now. This public computer does not have Mozilla Firefox, it has Internet Explorer. I miss the tabs. I get lonely without the tabs. I love tabs. Internet Explorer does not have tabs. I hate Internet Explorer.

Not as much as I hate Joma Sison and his army of communist terrorists. I squealed with delight the moment I heard of his arrest. Yet I wholeheartedly agree with the militants' demand for his release. Yes, "Ka Joma" must be released. Preferably from an airplane 10,000 feet above ground level. With no parachute. Weeee! Splat!

Oh, will you look at the time. I now owe Cafe Manila 23 pesos. My meeting is in fifteen minutes. Gotta go!

Wednesday, August 29, 2007

of faces and photographs

I have a confession to make. I can already feel the brickbats heading my way, but what the hell.

Let's keep that for later though. Hehehehe...

The lunar eclipse last night was just beautiful. It was a total eclipse, in the sense that we did not see anything, not even a sliver of the red-tinted moon, since the thick clouds blocked our view. To think that I ran all the way from my class in CAL just to be able to see this "not very common" (as opposed to "rare") event -the next one would be in 2011- and probably get a few shots in with my PDA/cellphone/digicam.

I did get a few pictures though, however these were of the more terrestrial variety. The media was out in full force at the PAGASA Observatory last night, and I had to dodge a few reporters and cameras and the ever-present paparazzi *ahem* as I went up the road to our tambayan.

What greeted me there was no different; as I climbed up to the moon deck the flashes of assorted cameras lit up the night. It's amazing how the press did not even notice the photo-op happening at the next building from where all their cameras were set up. Hehehe...

So Anna, Carlo, Dj, She: asaan na ang pictures ko?

After the "event" we went to Jollibee Philcoa again. A week after the Astro Dinner and we were back. I think the staff already recognized us by sight, although the sheer number of noisy and hungry people who poured into the building may have played a minor part in their decision to open the normally reserved area for us.



So there. I've delayed long enough. My former and current classmates and groupmates are going to hate me for this.

I have trouble remembering names. There are times wherein I've just met someone and then I immediately forget their name. There are a lot of times where I meet somebody who smiles and waves at me, blissfully unaware of the chaos going on behind my gracious smile: Who the hell is this?

I smile back even though I can't remember the name because I recognize the face. That is the one thing that has kept me from making a fool out of myself, or at worst appearing as a snob. If I have trouble remembering names I have no problem at all remembering faces.

Or so I thought until yesterday.

There I was, walking out of CASAA after having a drink, when someone met my eyes and waved at me. My brain went into overdrive as I tried to put a name to the face, but it really went haywire when I didn't recognize the face.

Maybe it was a mutual misunderstanding, maybe it was a mistake by either of us. Maybe she just happened to look at my direction while swatting a fly from her face. Or maybe I'm really starting to lose it.

To whoever that was, if you knew me and if you're reading this right now, I'm really sorry about that.

To everyone else, please keep the "you're getting old" and other related comments to a minimum. It's hard enough as it is!

Anyway, I have to get back to studying for my Film 100 exam tomorrow.

Friday, August 17, 2007

raindrops are falling on my head

This is starting to become a habit.

With Monday having been declared as a 'special holiday', I'm looking at an extremely long weekend. I've been cooped up here at home since Wednesday, thanks to the torrential rains brought by the typhoon.

Of course this 'vacation' will cost us all time and money, not to mention opportunities. Yes, opportunities to learn and do things, to meet other people, to go places. But for me, it's mostly about missing my allowance.

Having to go to school at 10AM everyday has been a blessing. I haven't yet experienced the frustration of learning that classes have been suspended again while being stuck in a flooded street. However, that has not made me any less annoyed at the dolts in the DepEd or CHED or NDCC or the local government or whoever the hell is supposed to suspend classes. You would think that these guys would have learned by now that suspending classes at the last minute is not a very good idea.

The irony just amazes me. The DepEd and CHED should have learned something by now about typhoons and their effect on our overcrowded metropolis.

There's something else I wanted to write about here, but I just can't remember what it was. My short-term memory seems to be going haywire; sometimes I look up from what I was doing and forget what I was doing. This problem manifests itself mostly when I'm doing something on the computer. I open up a new tab and then I forget what page I wanted to open in that new tab. I open up a webpage and once it's up I forget why I opened it up. I plan to do something yet a moment later I forget what it was and end up doing nothing. It's really frustrating.

Maybe it's the stress of having to do so much in such a small amount of time. This little vacation sure as hell won't help matters! Once the rains end the work is going to pour down in a torrent, and time is against me. One and a half months to go ladies and gentlemen. One and a half months to go before my fate is finally sealed.

Nah, September is still a long way off. I'll probably be able to manage, especially with all the success I've experienced in the past weeks. Unless something else really screws everything up.

Haaay... I really love the weather, especially now that my shoes have finally been fixed. What were once battered pieces of leather worn and weathered by two years of unforgiving use are once again 100% capable of charging through mud and flood, keeping my feet safe and warm. Now all I need is a new jacket and a new bag. Attrition is eating everything up, and the meager resources I have on hand are just not enough to keep my things in shape.

So, what else can I write about? The final battle scene from Return of the Jedi is taking quite some time to download, and I have to do SOMETHING to combat the boredom inherent with waiting.

Ah... Waiting. My most annoying pet peeve. I don't like waiting. I can't emphasize this enough. I abhor, despise, loathe waiting. I HATE waiting. I-- well would you look at that, download complete!

I need some coffee.

Monday, August 13, 2007

midnight coffee break

Mid-semester already, and things have taken a turn for the better. The two typhoons which hit the country last week did more than fill up reservoirs and water dry fields; they also gave me a lot of breathing space.

My Film 100 report has been pushed back a full two weeks, giving me a lot of time to fix up my Powerpoint presentation. My Natural Science 2 exam, originally scheduled for last Thursday, was a cake walk when I took it this afternoon.

I also got the results of my English 1 exam today. I really enjoy being singled out for recognition and, yes, this morning was no exception. Ahhh... I can already hear the Hallelujah chorus...

How I wish that everyday would be like today, with everything falling into place right where I want them. THAT is my perfect world - everything goes MY way.

Maybe that's why I have such an aversion to democracy.

Right, my inner dictator is once again asserting itself- down Adolf, down! Okay. The caffeine is really coming in strong.

I'm back to two cups of coffee everyday; the regular supply of milk and sugar has been reestablished. The random instances of perkiness and unexplained delight have also returned.

Remember my posts about anti-insect weapons, what Albert so fittingly called SLLs (sandatang laban sa lamok)? Well, I guess my dream of a complete and effective defense against those useless and annoying bloodsuckers is one step closer to reality.

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, one step closer, thanks to the USB Rocket Launcher! I'm not kidding folks! For only a little less than 5000 pesos I can have one of these babies up and running (firing, actually) in minutes.

Of course it's not accurate or fast enough to take out my little bloodsucking friends, but it's good enough to defend my space from my little sister's dog. Hehehe...

Who knows? Maybe in a few years my dream would finally become a reality... Bwahahaha! Now if THAT dream could become a reality, why not the OTHER dream too?

Guess what that one is...

Monday, August 06, 2007

time out

The Internet cafe is now my friend. Globelines really messed up this time.

I have been out of the online loop for four days now, and the withdrawal symptoms are starting to show. Yes, thank God for outsourcing. At least I'm not completely cut-off from the world!

But there are times when being cut-off from the world (well, the online world at least) can be a real blessing. I was swamped by a virtual deluge of messages the moment I opened up my email accounts: over 200 from Gmail and Yahoo combined. I've just spent the last hour reading through requests for jackets and various org-related stuff, and now I've got one hell of a headache trying to make heads and tails of all the conflicting requests for this and that color and all the work that's piling up on me.

Maybe my 'friends' at Globe were doing me a favor by keeping me away from my email. At least I had a 'relaxing' weekend (yeah, when I was not worrying about all the messages I was missing).

Oh, there was the Wii. Yes, I finally got my hands on a Nintendo Wii. Weeee! Beating my cousins on virtual tennis was very satisfying, though getting beat up in boxing was extremely frustrating.

Well, my time here is up. Duty calls. I really need a vacation. Yep, and this is only about my frustrations with the Internet. Wait until you hear about the other stuff. Hehehehe...

Tuesday, July 10, 2007

here comes the rain

Being stranded by the pouring rain at the Katipunan LRT station along with fellow commuters was a most enjoyable experience punctuated by moments of joyous exaltation and fruitful conversation.

I need new shoes. Toss in a new umbrella and jacket. Maybe even add a car. Thanks.

Sunday, July 08, 2007

monday morning blahs

Tinatamad na ako.

It's Monday, and the virus spawned by my ill-advised and hasty decision to skip class last Friday is manifesting itself once again.

My head hurts. I want to lie down. I want to sleep more. I want to rest.

My coffee is still too hot, but I have to get going in 15 minutes. I can't afford to be late again. Here's to another caffeine rush.

I feel like I'm being pushed to the limit. I want to push back. I want to strike back. I want to- nah... I'll keep that one for myself - in places no one will find.

Tuesday, July 03, 2007

outsourcing

I'm using a public computer for the first time in months.

Go figure.

Saturday, June 23, 2007

thoughts on a saturday

What's worse than waking up at 5:30 in the morning just so you could get to your 8:30 class on time and then finding out that said class was cancelled?

Waking up at 5:30 in the morning ON A SATURDAY just so you could get to your 8:30 class on time and then finding out that said class was cancelled!

It was a good thing that my dad drove me to school this morning; if I had commuted I would have been doubly frustrated and annoyed at having to go to school on a Saturday. Yes, it's my fault for enlisting in a Saturday class. However, bad enough as my one-day weekend is, the alternative is even worse.

Well, look at the bright side. I got some other things done. My English 1 readings are complete, my hair is back to normal length, and I got some bread for the table. Too bad the computer shop near our home was packed; I could have gotten in two hours of Command & Conquer 3.

My reading and writing skills have been in demand for the past few days. Aside from papers and assignments for class, I've been writing some parts and editing almost all of the documents needed for our org's recognition. Maybe I've found my true calling... Hehehe...

I'm still adjusting to the new school year. I have always been late for my first class of the day, which, by the way, is at 10 in the morning. I seem to have trouble getting out of the house; the computer monitor is just so hypnotic...

***
I've been giving some thought to what I've posted before. Easy subjects plus multi-hour breaks equals a lot of thinking time. I really don't think it's going to be an effective deterrent, given some of its shortcomings.

A CIWS (close in weapon system) is just that: close range only. Targeting, tracking, and shooting are limited to line-of-sight only. What I really need to deter would-be blood-suckers plus the more maneuverable flies and the tougher-skinned cockroaches is a mini SAM (surface to air missile) system.

With an even greater engagement range than the aforementioned Phalanx CIWS, the ability to home in on locked targets, and the capability to deliver high explosives to the targets, a SAM system would effectively deny the airspace around me to any annoying insect.

Of course fighter jets are needed to maintain complete air superiority, and once I get some I plan to keep a full combat air patrol around me at all times. However, in their absence a SAM battery would do quite well in keeping me safe from dengue and malaria.

I need a new computer. Obviously, I need to get some things out of my system. Hehehe...

Sunday, June 17, 2007

university of pila

So much for the first week of class. I got my PI 100 class, but the cost was just too much. I spent half of my day in a long, winding line at Palma Hall. It was hot, it was tiring, and it was all a waste of time. I spent nearly two hours standing there, only to be told that I had to go to another line at the University Registrar, where chaos and confusion reigned.

It was a good thing that Erika kept me company for most of the time, as I was already fuming and foaming at the mouth for having been forced to hop from building to building in a vain effort to find out just where the hell I had to go to get my change of matriculation assessed. And as if just to add insult to injury, all the waiting and walking was just so someone could write ''910" on my Form 26. I could have done that myself! Of course there's probably some bureaucratic purpose for all the building-hopping and waiting in line but spend some time in my shoes and I'm sure you would understand why I spent the last few hours in an evil mood waiting for a chance to snap at somebody -anybody- just to be able to blow off all the frustration welling up inside me.

''Vents" did appear from time to time, and light moments prevented my mood from getting worse. However, I still haven't paid for my PI 100 class, and I'm afraid that I would have to once again endure the endless lines which rightfully give UP the moniker ''University of Pila".

***
So what else is new...

The mosquitoes are currently feasting on my royal blood. I'm back to my Sunken Garden moments, thanks to my very open schedule. Of course this would mean more time for me to complete my requirements, but somehow I feel that... Nah... It's still too early in the sem to be thinking about that.

Someday I'll develop a miniature anti-aircraft gun which I'll carry everywhere with me. Think of a Phalanx CIWS gun, only the size of a 10-peso coin. I'll have someone else develop nano bullets and a virtual reality targeting system. Killing mosquitoes will never be the same again, or at least until I get my hands on a squadron of micro fighter jets... Won't that be sweet...

Saturday, April 21, 2007

ramblings

It's a miracle. I have nothing to do, so I now have some time to just sit back and relax, and maybe even reflect; if only the damned infernal heat would let up my relaxation would be complete. The past year had brought a lot of changes into my life; some welcome, most not. A lot of things have happened, but I shall spare the reader a long and rambling account of yesteryear. Let's focus on today, shall we? Dwelling on the past will get you nowhere. I am now forced to make decisions which I have never even dreamed of making. I am facing problems which I have never even considered facing. I must be getting old. Yes, that's it. I'm no longer a kid, I'm 20 years old! Damn! How I wish that I could escape from this nightmare. Sometimes l hope to wake up in a luxurious mansion, free from all these problems. Escapism. Shit. What the hell happened to "not one step backwards?" Well, you idiot, that's a line from Enemy at the Gates! And Call of Duty, in the Russian campaign. Those poor peasants, they had no choice but to run into German machine guns, or else face the guns of Russian commissars. Talk about being between a rock and a hard place. I may have to rethink some of my policies. I may have to rethink my strategies. I may have to reassess my objectives. Machiavelli might have some good pointers. The end justifies the means.

Why is it so hard to build a relationship, so difficult to maintain it, and yet so easy to destroy it? It's so frustrating. Maybe that's what's keeping me up until the wee hours of the morning. But why am I so bothered by this? Why should I lose sleep over such a trivial issue? Why should I care about it? Because she's a friend? Haaay... Maybe that's the problem. Maybe I shouldn't care so much. She doesn't care. Why should I? Yes. That's it. To hell with it all.

My life needs to be reassessed. A lot of things will change. A lot of things have changed.


Friday, April 13, 2007

friday the 13th


I am so pleased, yet I am also so frustrated.

I went to UP this morning to fix my summer registration. To be able to cancel just one class, I had to wake up at 5:30 AM and get to Econ by 8 AM. I got to school on time, but there was already a line outside the computer room -this was at 8:05 AM. I only got to a computer by 9 AM, which I used for about less than 6 or 7 minutes just to cancel one class. Thanks CRS! The 'new' system, which was probably supposed to 'help' us poor students, really screwed up big time. The monstrous lags yesterday were bad enough with me staring at my computer screen for two hours clicking on reload every few minutes just to access the enlistment page, but denying access to external users because of server overload? And when did this have to happen? RIGHT WHEN I WAS ABOUT TO CANCEL THE DAMN CLASS FROM HERE AT HOME. So I had to sacrifice a few hours of sleep just to beat the lines and get to a DILNET-connected computer just so I could spend five minutes to log-on and click on one little button named 'cancel'.

Yes. Five hours of preparation and waiting just so I could use a computer for five minutes.

After canceling my summer enlistment (vacation time!) I decided to get my class cards. I was in UP already so there was no sense in going back on Monday just to get class cards. I also got my TCG from SE101 so I passed my one and only application for shifting to AS101. Then it was off to PH 124 then to the Faculty Center for my class cards.

POLSC 150: 1.25
POLSC 160: 1.75
ECON 109: 1.25

LATIN 10: 2.25
CRAP.

I did not even bother to get my Persian 10 class card (supposedly [according to CRS] it's a 2); George W. Bush can nuke Iran for all I care.

I even got my papers from my pol sci subjects, which just intensified my frustration. I got a 94 (!!!) on my 12-page Polsc 150 case study and an 85 (!?) on my Polsc 160 journal article review. I was so pleased at the results, yet so intensely frustrated at the fact that my efforts could be in vain just because my cumulative GWA is now 2.05 thanks to my two language electives.

Enough ranting. I'm hungry.



Wednesday, April 11, 2007

great expectations

Apparently, things have a funny way of not going the way I planned. I took two language electives last semester to counterbalance my one economics and two political science courses; a little something to break the monotony of reading endless volumes and to bump up my GWA for the sem. Now, the grades are out, and guess what? I've got ones on my three major subjects and twos on my supposedly life-saving, grade-bumping language electives, turning what should have been a GWA of 1.4 to a 1.7! Granted, an average of 1.7 is a high one, and it's the highest I've ever gotten since starting out in UP, but it is just not good enough for me! (grade conscious ba?) It's a matter of pride, yes, but this latest setback has lessened my chances of getting into CSSP. I guess I now have to consider applying at NCPAG or at CAL, and face another three years of college. Hell, I want to graduate already! Haaay... But that's the way the cookie crumbles folks. I'm going to UP today to try to talk some sense into one of my professors (read: beg) and somehow salvage this debacle. It's a long shot, yes, but it just might save my skin in the long run. Yes, that's it: a desperate operation to try to change a ''2" into at least a "1.5". Hehehe... This is the new me: quibbling over a .5. What the hell. It just might work.

***
This would also be the perfect excuse to get out of the house. Though they haven't manifested themselves yet, boredom and insomnia due to idleness is a clear and present danger to my sanity. I need something to do besides staring at our antiquated CRT monitor for hours on end every single day. Of course a new computer with all the bells and whistles (read: Intel Core 2 Duo + GeForce 8800 + 4GB RAM + 250GB hard drive + Windows Vista) along with a brand new copy of Command and Conquer 3 would do much to quell all my feelings of boredom, but it sure as hell won't do much good for my insomnia I suppose. Back on topic though, the green of the Sunken Garden would do wonders for my mind, and my feet do miss walking around. Oh well, at least I would be doing something else to get my mind off the heat here at home.


***
By the way, congratulations to all those who've graduated!






Wednesday, March 21, 2007

home stretch

Another sunset, and the semester is one day closer to its end.

Coffee on such a hot day may be seen as some to be a bit eccentric, but to me it is a fitting way to relax after 9 hours of work.

At the UP Main Library there is one perfect spot for me. The coffee dispenser is only a few feet away, there is a beautiful view of the sky and the trees, and the silence is just what my overheated mind needs.

Yes. Silence. Isolation. Reflection.

The end is in sight. After my final exams on the 31st I would finally be able to rest and relax once again.

For the near future, at least.

Ad astra per aspera